Friday, April 23, 2010

So many ways to keep in touch..So many ways to be ignored

Recently at the Bellizzi Westchester Blogger Private Tasting, I made the acquaintance of Stacy Geisinger, the infamous blogger for StacyKnows. Stacy told me I was on her “radar” and she had read my interview with Jill Zarin in her Facebook newsfeed that day and also received the invite on the matchmaking event “Become a Mega-Successful Matchmaker & Dating Coach: A Mini-MBA for the Love Business” I will be speaking at with Rachel Greenwald. This got us started on a fascinating conversation about both perspectives on dating today and the many ways men can ignore you or stay in touch with you!

Kris: How has dating changed due to social media?
Stacy: When I was dating many years ago things were much more simple! You gave a guy your number and either he called or he didn’t call.  You would check your answering machine and you would know if he had contacted you or not.  If you were out, and you could remember the code, you might call your answering machine to see if someone called from a pay phone.  Today, things have completely changed. There is no longer 1 way to get in touch with a potential date- there are now dozens of ways to contact someone due to the rise of social media. Therefore, there are dozens of ways to ignore your date as well.  However, there is something still attractive about the person that doesn’t call.
Many beautiful women often ask me why a guy did not contact them after their date. They think if he did not call, that maybe he will reach out in 20 different ways online and stay glued to their devices. No matter how hard you try, there is still no way to attractively “dangle” yourself in front of someone to get them to contact you.
Because of the Internet, there are so many ways not to be ignored today! If a guy wants to call you but lost your number- he can still:
Text you
Call your cell
Call your apartment line
Call your office line
IM you
Skype you-Nothing like clicking on the icon and it says- “No new conversations”
IM you on Gchat
MSN Chat
Mention your Twitter handle in a tweet
Direct Message you on Twitter
Comment on your blog to show he is engaged
BBM – Ask you for your pin
Write on your Facebook wall
Send you a Facebook message
Initiate a Facebook chat
From your perspective, you may be thinking…
You have just checked in on Foursquare.. I know you are around the corner!
I know when your status changes from red to green online
Did I mention I can tell if you have read my BBM’s?
I know if you are logged into Facebook
How taxing is it to send a simple smiley face :)
I see you have been tagged in new photos since our last date
Clearly you are alive if you are writing on your ex’s wall
LinkedIn- Maybe you don’t want to date me, but could you at least recommend me?
Friendfeed- If you aren’t doing any of the above I guess we aren’t “friends.”
Amplify- Am I one of your sources?
Social Oomph- I am wondering if you have any!
Maybe you’re my friend on Facebook, but how come you are not a fan of my company page?
I have written five new blogs posts since our last date, so don’t ask me “How I am doing” until you have read them
Stacy: Ladies- if he is interested in you he will find you- and if he is ignoring you he will ignore you in 20 different platforms.  Sometimes, the best thing to do is to detox from all the platforms and let him chase you. There is nothing more attractive then the mysterious girl- social media has made it a little more challenging to be as mysterious because people can keep tabs on you in real time.  Men like the chase- whether it is through Internet wires or cell phones- he knows where to find you and if he wants to hunt you down he will.
For the full interview with Kris Ruby please visit

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Alexis said...

I'm so thankful to be married and not have to deal with any of that stuff. Yikes!

Anonymous said...

Great stuff Stacy. I am currently being ignored in all of those ways!!

Stacy said...

Bottom line if someone is interested they will find away to keep in touch